TOOL #9: Have People Over For Dinner
The fourth step on the journey of walking the PATH of PEACE PATH is to have people over dinner. Practice lavish hospitality and do it often. This is again mentioned as a separate tool even though described also above for the same reason as doing service projects. It is key to the success of your peace movement. See above for all the tips and advice on how to do this well.
Muslims and Christians need to learn to share their faith stories in relevant meaningful ways with each other that do not sound preachy, condescending or void of life.
The reality is that most Muslims and Christians want to hear stories and not just a lifeless propositions or principles that do not inspire the soul. People want to be moved.
They want to know that God can make a difference in your life and if he can make a difference in your life then just maybe he can help them.
For A Christian Audience
The following is for Christians reading this: You have a wonderful story to tell. Talk about the wonderful story of how you met Jesus and the difference he made in your life. Remember, Satan does not want you to tell that story and he hates it (Revelation 12:11). There are six basic components to frame your story around. Keep it simple.
- Your life before Jesus... How you met Jesus... Your life after you became a follower of Jesus.
- If you were raised in a religious home you could talk about being brought up in the faith. You could talk about how when you look back over your life you can see how God was at work in your life. You could share how God became real/personal to you.
- Discuss in your story major events in your life that made you aware of God.
- Begin your story by sharing something exciting from your faith journey that happened recently and if your friend is open to it share the bigger story of your faith journey as well.
- Avoid using "Christianese" language, vocabulary, and lingo? Focus on receptor-oriented communication. How will your use of certain vocabulary only known to Christian make your story hard to understand for those not familiar with these. For example, non-Christians do not know what you mean by “washed in the blood,” or “I got saved or born again” etc. Become good storytellers that speak the language of your listeners.
- Remember the goal is NOT to convert, but to begin a spiritual friendship where you and your Muslim friend can both share your meaningful faith stories, spiritual experiences and life reflections with each other.
For A Muslim Audience
The following is for Muslims reading this: You likewise have a wonderful story to tell. Talk about the wonderful story of how and why you decided to become a Muslim and the difference God has made in your life. If you were raised Muslim share why you have remained Muslim. Let your heart, faith and passion come through your story. Don’t focus on convincing someone why you think Islam is a superior religion or pressuring them to convert. You will not get many listeners that way.
Focus on how Islam has made your life better. How it has made you a better father, mother, son or daughter. Share how it has helped you get through the hard times in your life and the peace and joy it has brought you during the good times. The five basic components for Christians to frame their unique faith story around would apply to you also. Keep it simple. Don’t use “Muslimese” make your story “Christian friendly” and “non-Muslim Friendly.”
When you approach someone and desire to share your faith story it is important to see if they are receptive. Perhaps you could ask them if they believe in God and what would submission to God look like to them? If a conversation begins ask them if you could share what God means to you and what your journey of submission to him looks like.
Sharing Your Story
Sharing our faith stories is one of the simplest ways we can share what our faith means to us. The goal is not to win a debate, convert or prove that the other was deceived or in an evil or inferior religion.
Here are a few rules of engagement that will give you the confidence to move forward in Muslims and Christians having spiritual conversations.
- Avoid religious and cultural arguments. This will only hinder developing a friendship. Seek first to understand each other before being understood. Assume the posture of a learner and be curious. Don’t argue but instead humanize each other. You will like your results much better. Treat the other person the way you would want to be treated.
- Don’t attack or criticize Christianity or Islam. Let’s look at the short-comings of our own religious history instead of judging another person’s faith. As one Christian said to a group of 300 Muslims and Christians: Let’s be honest and put something on the table. Both our religions have much blood on their hands and we have committed shameful deeds over the centuries in the name of God and our religions.
We could argue who has shed the most blood, but both religions would be deeply implicated. We have not lived up to the highest altruistic principles revealed to the Prophet Muhammad or Jesus the Messiah. Why don’t we acknowledge our own sins and shame and get back to the business of following our prophets by acknowledging there is only one God and we are to love him with all our heart, love our neighbor as ourselves, treat other people the way we want to be treated and make peace with our enemies. Then the world might believe there is a God.
Do all you can to remove the deadly theological, historical and cultural misunderstandings that have developed between Christians and Muslims over the centuries. This one is huge and most conversations between Muslims and Christians avoids these issues like the plague. This is important in our spiritual friendships that we not only focus on what we agree upon but that we also have honest conversations about our misunderstandings, questions and the things we disagree upon.
See the section called Emergency Apologetics that can help provide some simple answers in the early stages of the friendship, but as the relationship grows you will need to have deeper conversation on these misunderstanding.
Most if not all of these hot button issues can be resolved by studying the "deadly misunderstanding" section of this toolkit.
Hot buttons for Muslims understanding Christians focus around five main concerns:
Jesus is not God
You believe in 3 gods
God can't have a son
Your Bible is corrupt
Jesus didn't die
Hot buttons for Christians understanding Muslims focus around five main areas also:
Muslims are our enemies
Muhammad is a false prophet
The Qur'an is a book from Satan
Islam is a false religion
Allah is not God
Practical Goals
Focus on what really matters. Fighting over little things and religious rules takes energy away from the most important issues of justice, mercy, compassion, and true submission to God.
Try to be positive and do not always be defending Islam or Christianity. Simply be straightforward and share what you believe and why you believe it. Loving and honoring God, and loving our neighbor are more important than defending our religions. Let’s be honest. People don’t care about your religion. They want to know and see the reality of what submission to God has done in your life. As the atheist Friedrich Nietzsche once said,Show me that you have been redeemed and I will believe in your redeemer.
Don’t underestimate the power of your personal faith story.
Be content to communicate one small aspect of your faith at a time.
Own up to the mistakes and crimes of Christians and Muslims in the past and present. Do not try to defend mistakes or crimes made by those claiming your faith or even try to explain/defend them. Instead, honor the core message of your faith. You cannot have it both ways.
Love is more persuasive than any argument. Even if you win an argument, you may lose the person. Even if you lose an argument, you may still win the person if you show that you really love him or her.
Invite your Muslim and Christian friends to study the holy books together. One of the most impacting things in relationships between Muslims and Christians is to study the Bible and Qur’an together. This will be discussed below. We look at what the Qur’an and the Bible says about the prophets and how we can apply what we have learned to our lives.
One Muslim leader who worked for a government in the Middle East did a holy book study with a Christian for six months. At the end of the study he said,
As a result of studying with you I am going back to my home country a better Muslim. I want you to know that I no longer hate Christians and now I see them as my brothers and sisters because of Jesus. I have a deeper understanding of what Christians actually believe as opposed to what I have been taught they believe.
I see we have more in common than we do differences if we keep our conversations to the Bible and Qur’an. I am convinced more than ever that God wants Christians and Muslims to read each other’s books, and to seek the Kingdom or God or the Straight Path together. I am also convinced that Jesus is the prophet who can bring us all together. Thank you for studying with me and not trying to convert me to the Christian religion. You have shown me something much better—the Kingdom of God.
These simple ground rules are the foundation of developing authentic spiritual relationships between Muslims and Christians. They are tested by many people and they work! What doesn’t work is arguing, debating whose religions is best, defending our own religion, and attacking each other’s religion. Love is the answer to everything.
